New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm like, not good at living.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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