I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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