i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
