do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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