I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
