dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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