A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
