I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
