I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you didnt know i had herpes?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
