so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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