I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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