So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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