Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
