oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize