It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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