just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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