Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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