i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize