Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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