Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Randomize
