I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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