My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
