Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Did we literally take a cab across the street
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
