Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize