he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
