I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
