Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
