I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize