please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
