Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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