Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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