he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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