No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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