I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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