We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
