my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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