no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
