I feel like abortions should bother me more
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
