is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
