A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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