Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
