reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
