did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
