My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i was born a porn star she said
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
