Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
