Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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