3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize