whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
40s are totally the cure
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.