you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.