She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode