no, he came in my armpit
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave