dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
