but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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