My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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