I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
