You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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