Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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