i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
