his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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