It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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