He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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